i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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