her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
