yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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