K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
