What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Randomize
