whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I look better un-naked...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
