bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
