Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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