There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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