But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
