hell yes lets make some ravioli
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I wear drunk well.
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