Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
