If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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