At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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