u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm passing your future prison.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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