The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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