operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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