I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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