i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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