Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
