2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Randomize
