he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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