Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
