Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
