there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize