I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
