This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
