its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
