Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
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