The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
