Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
