Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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