Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize