i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Fuck appropriateness.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
