i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
