I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
