I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
