Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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