Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
