Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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