she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
