I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
