p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
