can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
whose parrot is this?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
