he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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