Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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