Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
