So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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