Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
