If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We got so high we made milksteak
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize