I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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