I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
