Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
