His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
