So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
high people should be assigned attendants
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
