u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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