Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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