so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Someone signed my nipple.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
