I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
