i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
