Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
